The Resurrection of Romance: How to Create and Sustain a World Class Romantic Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime by Anderson Matthew

Author:Anderson, Matthew [Anderson, Matthew]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2016-01-30T08:00:00+00:00

Chapter 29

Dianna and Michael - Merging

and the Loss of the Other

Dianna indicates that she wants to speak first.

"Michael, you are the one who loves to talk about this subject so I think I will comment first and then let you do your thing, Honey. (She smiles warmly and Michael responds with the same affection). I used to worry a lot that we would lose the wonderful energy we had. It was so incredible to me and so special and I have always felt so grateful for our love. I never want to lose it and I know you don't either. We have talked so often about what merging is and how it kills the feeling of ecstasy, and I think I understand it intellectually. I mean, it makes sense to me that it takes two separate people to fall in love and be intimate and it also makes sense that those two can lose their boundaries when they live so closely together over time. I also get it that being close can lead to merging and then, in a way, the two become one and intimacy stops occurring."

Michael chimes in briefly.

"Sweetheart, that was really clear. You said the whole thing as good as I ever could."

Dianna laughs and continues.

"Thanks Honey. Yes, I do understand the concept but the real issue is how we make sure it does not happen to us. We have been together for quite a while now. A lot longer than a couple of years and, thank God, we are still crazy in love. I want us to talk about how we keep that level of loving alive, because we do and it is still as good or better than it was the first year."

Dianna pauses and looks pensive and then speaks again.

"I think we do quite a few things that help us see each other as separate people and those particular habits help sustain our passion for each other. One thing is that we actually talk about it. We want to nurture what is good between us so we avoid taking anything for granted. I wake up every morning grateful for you and I share that with you almost every day. You do the same with me. We have an ongoing conversation about our relationship and how much we love each other and how special and wonderful that is. I am sure that makes a difference. So many couples stop that sort of communication too soon and that makes them begin to take each other for granted and I think that contributes to merging. (She looks at Michael and he is agreeing enthusiastically).

"One of the best things we do is make an effort to be really intimate. Yes, we have fantastic lovemaking, but I am talking about what you love to call radical intimacy. We are not afraid to look deeply into each other's eyes and allow our hearts to fill up with affection and appreciation for the other. We cry together that way often, I mean at least once a month or more.

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